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TUESDAY, JULY 16, 2019
- start the night before the due date
- prepare some snacks, preferably crackers or cereal straight out of the box
- write introduction, possibly with a snazzy hook or quotation
- check your Facebook
- check your various emails
- stretch, sit down, and read the texts for the very first time
- spend approximately an hour fiddling with your thesis statement
- eat snacks
- drink something warm and/or caffeinated
- change Facebook status to display how your life sucks because of this paper
- go on wordarc.com and write a post on how to write an English essay
- write first paragraph
- spend some time reflecting why you took the course
- check the word count
- despair
- comfort yourself and drag yourself through the next couple of paragraphs
- create a title page to give the illusion that there are more pages
- lapse into depression momentarily
- call friend for ideas and whine
- surf the internet, webcomics, youtube, until you realize you're refreshing the same sites over and over again
- check the word count
- go back to computer and finish essay
- subtly make font size .5 larger and space out the lines
- realize your conclusion sucks and go back to fix it-
- submit essay to TurnItIn
- curse that your printer is out of ink
- buy ink or beg friend to print it out for you
- realize the stapler you have is out of staples
- go to your prof's office to hand it in
- borrow his/her stapler before handing it in
- curse yourself for realizing how much more you could have elaborated on to possibly receive a better mark
- receive mark back weeks later
- feel dissatisfied
- reason to yourself that you could have done much worse and trick yourself into thinking that grade isn't too bad
- get on with life
Comments

NatalieC

NatalieC

2008-12-01 13:18:58

This is shockingly accurate. My procrastination methods suddenly feel so generic.

Sorrel

Sorrel

2008-12-01 20:47:38

Wow, were you stalking me and watching my every move?
Natalie is right! Shockingly accurate indeed.



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