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MONDAY, JULY 04, 2011
- start the night before the due date
- prepare some snacks, preferably crackers or cereal straight out of the box
- write introduction, possibly with a snazzy hook or quotation
- check your Facebook
- check your various emails
- stretch, sit down, and read the texts for the very first time
- spend approximately an hour fiddling with your thesis statement
- eat snacks
- drink something warm and/or caffeinated
- change Facebook status to display how your life sucks because of this paper
- go on wordarc.com and write a post on how to write an English essay
- write first paragraph
- spend some time reflecting why you took the course
- check the word count
- despair
- comfort yourself and drag yourself through the next couple of paragraphs
- create a title page to give the illusion that there are more pages
- lapse into depression momentarily
- call friend for ideas and whine
- surf the internet, webcomics, youtube, until you realize you're refreshing the same sites over and over again
- check the word count
- go back to computer and finish essay
- subtly make font size .5 larger and space out the lines
- realize your conclusion sucks and go back to fix it-
- submit essay to TurnItIn
- curse that your printer is out of ink
- buy ink or beg friend to print it out for you
- realize the stapler you have is out of staples
- go to your prof's office to hand it in
- borrow his/her stapler before handing it in
- curse yourself for realizing how much more you could have elaborated on to possibly receive a better mark
- receive mark back weeks later
- feel dissatisfied
- reason to yourself that you could have done much worse and trick yourself into thinking that grade isn't too bad
- get on with life
Comments

NatalieC

NatalieC

This is shockingly accurate. My procrastination methods suddenly feel so generic.

Sorrel

Sorrel

Wow, were you stalking me and watching my every move?
Natalie is right! Shockingly accurate indeed.



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