Post Your Entry!
MONDAY, MAY 27, 2019
'Simply ambrosial'

ABORTED FETUS PROTEIN BARS

SAMAEL

2008-08-13 23:29:37

Creative Writing

For this recipe you will need one human fetus, it is preferred that the fetus be whole bodied: still containing all limbs and its head. It is optional to have the fetus’ placenta as well, however, for the sake of this recipe, it is best to add the amniotic sac and, if possible, 2 Cups of amniotic fluid. If you have no amniotic fluid, you can substitute it with light cream - the placenta adds extra nutrients but again this is optional.

As for other basic ingredients, you’ll need 1 Cup of Wheat germ, 1-Cup Melted Butter, 1 Cup of Oats, and finally, 3-Cups of Flower. Any of these ingredients can be replaced with granola, and you needn't use regular flour. Just take large flake oats, or another type of unprocessed grain flake, and put it in a food processor. Whiz it until it is a its texture resembles a fine yet grainy flour. I personal prefer this method to standard store bought flour.

Step 1: Before anything else is to take place, you must first prepare your fetus. The un-developed bones of the fetus will be easy to process in any common home food processor. The body itself will need time to dry out, best to either have it smoked or at the least leave it out in the sun for 4-6 hours. The longer you leave your fetus out in the sun, the dryer it will be, giving the fetus a “friendlier” colour once blended. For those working with the amniotic sac, to prepare it you should slice it into even stripes of about 10. Along with the fetus, dry out your placenta strips for only an hour, or else they become crisp and far too brittle.

Step 2: Have your flour, or homemade grain-flour, in a bowl. Take your 1-cup of melted butter and 2 cups of amniotic fluid (can be substituted with light cream) and add it to the bowl and cream it with a wooden spoon until the mixture creates a fine paste. Add your wheat germ and oats into the mix.

Step 3: Take the dried out body of the fetus and put it in your food processor; if you have the placenta strips, this is the time to add them. Blend the fetus (along with placenta) until it resembles a liquid form, one similar to the paste made from Step 2, in both texture and colour.

Step 4: Add blended fetus along with the flour paste. Cream the mixture for at least 10 minutes, or until the mixture takes on an earthier colour.

Step 5: Once mixture is fully blended, spread ingredients flat on a greased cookie sheet. Chill in the refrigerator for a full 24 hours. Slice into equally proportioned bars; wrap each bar individually in wax paper.

Aborted Fetus Protein Bars contain 30-37 grams of protein, this of course varies on the development of the fetus (third trimester abortions give more protein etc.). There is also added protein with the addition of the placenta. Other additional nutritional facts (per bar) include 280 calories, 10-15 grams of fat, with a taste that is better than sin. Each bar is high in Calcium, Iron, and Vitamins A and K. May you enjoy!
Comments

Alamir

Alamir

2008-08-14 01:57:44

This can easily be a statement against either pro-choice or pro-life depending on how you look at it.

SAMAEL

SAMAEL

2008-08-14 02:26:48

Or a statement against non-delicious and sub-standard protein bars.

alishahnovin

alishahnovin

2008-08-14 03:31:20

Or a way to ruin ones appetite - for all foods, regardless of primary ingredient.

Sorrel

Sorrel

2008-09-06 04:47:31

I'm so utterly repulsed by this article. I think freedom of speech can elicit constructive considerations, but this is disgusting sensationalism.

SAMAEL

SAMAEL

2008-11-03 01:34:37

666 views!



USERNAME:
PASSWORD:
REMEMBER ME
Forget your password?
Don't have an account? Sign Up, it's free!
Most Discussed Articles Top Articles Top Writers