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FRIDAY, DECEMBER 13, 2019

WHAT IF APPLE BRANCHED OUTSIDE TECHNOLOGY?

PhilWalker

2008-09-18 14:33:04

Arts & Entertainment

I'm a PC guy. Not a Macguy. I use Windows. I have a Creative Zen mp3 player. I hate the Mac guy in those ads, and I don't have posters of Steve Jobs (but I do wear black turtlenecks). Don't get me wrong - I'm not a die hard PC guy who wears PC stuff with pride. PCs/Macs, they're really just big calculators to me. You use either to get the job done, and any debate on which is better, is - to me, arguing about whether a Texas Instruments calculator is better than any other graphing calculator. Go ahead and argue, in the mean time I'll have plotted functions mathematicians didn't even know existed.

Whether you love Apple or not, whether you own an iPod, iPhone, macBook - there's one thing you can't deny: Apple has earned a solid reputation of putting out well-designed products. Mother always told us it's what's on the inside that counts, but Apple is well aware how superficial we can all be. How we yearn for aesthetics - rounded corners, glowy effects, and touchability can sell. We have 5 senses, why not exploit them to the best ability? They regularly go to great lengths to create aesthetically beautiful products - and whether you like what's on the inside, well, I'll leave that to your own opinion. Sure, Apple has made some odd choices - like the old iMacs/iBooks, those giant bubbles of tangerine and aqua, but just like any fashion, things always look peculiar in retrospect.

Here's the thing about Apple products, and the owners of Apple products: They all look the same to me. I mean, really. Some of my best friends are Apple owners - and sometimes I confuse them for other Apple owners. You all look so similar. It's bred within you this notion that "good design" is ubiquitous. It's one look. Helvetica. Rounded corners. Matte finish...then glossy...then back to Matte. That's all you need in life. Anything else is just ugly.

Here's the main thing about Apple owners: If you own a multitude of Apple products, you can't but help look around at your other products and feel they just don't live up to the design of Apple. And because Apple hasn't shown much sign of expanding into drastically different markets. And so what do you do? What products are out there that could possibly come close to the Apple way of life? Apple owners look around, and they all flock to similar companies because their sense of design is gone.

First, let's start off with the automobile. Apple isn't planning on putting out a car anytime soon, so if you're an Apple person, what do you drive? The answer usually comes immediately to people, and it's the VW Beetle. Volkswagen is the Apple of automobiles, and the Beetle is the iMac of the line. The curves, the colors, the fake potted-flower, and optional flower-pattern rear lights are all reminiscent of the iMac/iBooks, particularly the old-bubble line. For the sleaker new iMacs/iBooks, the new option is the VW Rabbit: the curves smoothed out somewhat, and offered in more traditional and classic colours, the VW Rabbit looks less like you're on your way class (in grade school), but on your way to a seminar hosted by one of your favorite professors. And of course, for the Powerbook users, there's the VW Golf - silver, of course. Now, if they could come in an electric model, or more eco-friendly versions - that would be nice, but then again Apple isn't the greenest company out there .1


iBeetle


Second, and more frequently purchased, is clothing. What particular store is screaming "Apple?" Now of course there are many different options here, but the goal here is to pick out the one company whose logo could be swapped with Apple's, and it would just make sense - I guess, you can also consider what most people holding an iPod are wearing. And there's only one clothing company I can see fitting that spot: The Gap. Simple in its name, simple in it's logo, and simple in the design of it's stores, the Gap has been around for quite some time now, and has had the reputation of bringing hip to the masses. Starting with Jeans and Jean Jackets, then to Corduroys and Tweed, it's quite a regular sight to see someone adorned in Gap clothing, listening to their iPod, and holding their macBook in their free hand.


iClothes


Third: Furniture. You gotta sit on something. Take a moment, close your eyes, and think: If you wanted Applesque furniture, where would you go? I think the answer is simple... PC users have already got it - but if you're an Apple user, I'll give you a hint: Ikea.


iSit


Fourth - whether you're a Tea drinker, or a coffee drinker, there's only one place for you to go. Sure, many people love their small local coffee shops, but there's one particular spot that's screaming Apple. Screaming hip. Screaming "I'm up to date on the latest trends, though not the trends in the stock market, because I'm blissfully unaware that their stock has been plummeting in recent years." Yes, Starbucks is your place for caffeine.


iCaffeine


Fifth, and finally: political leaders. While not a product, there are certain politicians who embody the ideas of Apple, who are the human manifestations of the Apple design principals. Where John McCain represents the old, the dated, megalith corporation, Barack Obama - who has based his campaign on change is the latest released product set out to distrupt the world with it's innovations, designed with large appeal.


iBarack


Don't believe me? Think of Mac Guy for a moment, and tell me you can't imagine him making fun of PC guy, then later juping in his VW with a Obama '08 bumper sticker, stopping by at a Starbucks to grab a caramel Machiato, then going to the GAP to look for their new line of blue hoodies, and then going back home to his Ikea filled house, to sleep on his Ikea bed and dream sweet dreams of his well designed life of conformity.
Comments

alishahnovin

alishahnovin

2008-09-18 15:09:28

As a PC guy myself, I must admit... I kind of wish we had some better places to "flock to"...

What do we get? '93 Corollas, faded rock shirts and khakis, Walmart furniture, Folgers coffee, and Ron Paul?

Matty

Matty

2008-09-30 20:50:13

I'm an Apple guy.
I dislike Starbucks,
I don't drive a VW,
I would never shop at GAP,
I'm voting for McCain

I think I'm an exception, however I enjoyed your article. You're right, you can pick out the Macguys out of a group and those companies you mentioned seem to fit well along side Apple.

iBarack

iBarack

2008-12-05 13:18:05

I am not an Apple Woman, but I do find Apple products aesthetically pleasing. I do have the Mac and all I want for Christmas this year is an iPhone. Desperado! But, I don't shop at the GAP - although, I haven't seen anything cuter than Baby Gap. The Beatle is cute but if I were to ever learn to drive(I can't tell you how funny that is), I'd get a Jaguar. iBarack? Have you checked out my blog: http://www.fivemonthstothepresidency.blogspot.com? That is where I have to say, I'm totally cliche. So, sue me.

by Marion TD Lewis, Esq.
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