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TERMINALLY ILL

Keshiaaa

2008-11-09 04:49:21

Creative Writing

When you cry over your true love for years to come, remember it will always be an obsession.
And remember, Beethoven was completely deaf.




Heartbreak is a winter love ballad
made of quixotic memories
Something irreplaceable
that no one else can capture.

Time ticks by, every moment dies behind us.
Once the seasons pass again...
The blissful fantasy, you created in me still dances

I tremble, and lose all stream of thought
my jaw is powerless, my insides split, and my heart weighs more than usual..
when I hear or speak your name.

Knowing you has made me sick with love
I don't touch you, and I can't feel you
as I wait for this love to die.
Hogan

Hogan

2008-11-09 17:56:43

Love poetry, eh? Get over it.
REPLIES: Lilian, alishahnovin, Keshiaaa

Lilian

Lilian

2008-11-09 21:21:11

I actually really liked this piece.

Lilian

Lilian

2008-11-09 21:21:26

Replying to Hogan:
...that was a bit harsh.

alishahnovin

alishahnovin

2008-11-10 13:50:55

Replying to Hogan:
From The Unbinding by Walter Kirn:

You did tell me ... that you were still very much involved with your ex. ... I remember that I told you that I would not see you again, that this hurt me, and I remember you told me not to be hurt. Remember that I then posed a multiple-choice question? I believe I said, "Kent Selkirk: A woman comes to see you in your apartment and she says she is freezing. You a) get her a warm sweater from your closet, b) turn up the thermostat, c) build a toasty fire in the fireplace, or d) tell her to not be cold."

Hogan

Hogan

2008-11-10 21:44:24

A bit harsh? I suppose. I'm just a little sick of love poems, and this is supposed to be a site where writers can converse - critically as well as back-pattingly - about the writing that goes up here. I speak for myself only, of course, and I don't mind being the resident jerk, nor do I mind all the negative feedback that that entails.

Maybe I just think that there are better things to complain about than one's own private feelings. After all, they are private. Not that this site is necessarily or exclusively meant for material that is pure for and about the public. That said, if someone is going to post a diary entry of a poem, then they should expect something less than unanimously positive comments. Like I said, I'll be the jerk.

I am, obviously, not the most sentimental or romantic person, but maybe this is because I've not felt the sting of love-unrequited. Or maybe I just think that people should get over themselves (and their ex-lovers) and keep their personal feelings where they belong, that is, in their diaries or conversations with close friends.

Anyway, people can post what they like - love poem or hate literature - and anyone can comment what they want. And anyone can comment on the comments. Free speech at work! So, Keshiaaa, please don't feel too bad about my comment. And keep on posting. I'm the only jerk around here, it looks like.
REPLIES: Lilian

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