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MONDAY, MAY 27, 2019
 
The first casualty of war, it's been said, is the truth. The same goes, you could say, for elections. Here are some brief examples of war and election euphemisms that you've probably been hearing:


Coalition with the Bloc and NDP = the exact same thing Stephen Harper proposed to Jack Layton and Gilles Duceppe in 2004, and that he is now trying to scare people with.

Coalition forces = mainly countries with vested economic interest in Libyan "stability" (also see "stability", below).

Coalition of the willing = (you won't hear this one. Reminds people of Bush's unilateralism).

Crime = something that has been steadily declining for decades but which the Conservatives need to fight, for some reason.

Economy, the = the easily irritated god that we have to sacrifice things to in order to appease, such as social services and corporate tax revenue. This malicious deity is to regulate every aspect of our communal behaviour, including when we hold elections, because we don't know how it will "react".

Engage = blow shit up, kill people.

More jobs for Canadian = More profits for big corporations.

Our allies in the region = the corrupt elites we depend on for oil and whose oppressive policies we help support.

Stability = a state of false certainty in which we are not allowed to examine what is going on and how to change it for the better.

Uncertainty = something the market "doesn't like" (as if the market had emotions), but which is the natural state of human life, and which we should embrace, instead of retreating in fear about how the market-god will respond to actions we need to take.


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